Ever notice that the more you do, the more you want to do? And the more you sit around, the more you want to sit around? That’s how it works for me anyway, to a surprising degree. And I’ve been sitting around for awhile now. Being pregnant and in a new place. I thought once the baby was born I would have this huge surge of energy, and run out to do all the things I hadn’t been able to do. But apparently I sat around too long, and got stuck.
It’s not like I’m ever one of those people. You know the annoyingly productive kind. Like Riana and her three page long list of what she got done before lunch (don’t get me wrong, I love Riana’s blog, and suspect I would love her) I always wanted to be one of those people, who doesn’t? Isn’t that precisely why they’re annoying? Because we’re not them, and we wish we were? I’ve always fought hard for the medium level of energy I do have. And since having a kid, it’s become a true uphill battle.
That’s been the single hardest thing about motherhood for me. Sacrificing my standard of what I can get done in a day. Of course, if I felt like I could put “raising a happy, healthy, capable child” on my mental list of what I got done every day, I’d feel a lot better about it. But somehow it’s too long and ongoing of a project to put it on any list, mental or otherwise. Raising your kid isn’t something you finish and get to cross off.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seems like kids make me tired even when (or maybe especially when) we’re not doing much of anything. You have to slow down so much with little ones, and maybe that kicks in the energy principle. The slower we go on a walk, the tireder I get. Of course, then there’s the hyper kid phenomenon, which makes me tired too. Hmmm, maybe it is just me. My good energy is simply too precariously balanced.
But, I swear, I am about to bounce up and start kicking ass! Really! As soon as I get in my groove. As soon as I get my belly back (I’m only two weeks out from birth right now, my muscles haven’t even finished contracting into place, let alone re-strengthening. I tried to do some simple yoga the other day, and just about collapsed) As soon as the heat dies down. And once I get going, I’ll surely hit my stride. I’m gonna tackle that To Do List with vim, and vigor!