No, I don’t mean that. Us progressive ladies and our progressive hubbies/partners had better not think of that as a duty.
I’m talking about a few things I recently started doing that really Hubby should do for himself, and I’ve resisted until this point in our relationship because they seem so over-the-line wifely.
But when I resolved to start sweating the small stuff, I realized that waiting wasn’t going to help. At 35 he wasn’t suddenly going to start doing these things on his own. And so, I stepped in.
I now (gulp) pack my husband’s lunch, and sort his laundry.
In Cordova, Hubby worked at home, his office was upstairs. It just didn’t seem too weird to make enough lunch for two whenever I was hungry, and then shout up to him that food was ready. But here of course, he goes off to school everyday, without breakfast (he’s never been a morning eater) and doesn’t get home until 4:30. He either starves all day, or goes and buys lunch. Which at $10 a pop, adds up.
Here is a man who can barely summon the patience to pour granola into a bowl and top with milk. He was simply never going to start thinking ahead to make himself lunch.
To make the concept of packing my husband’s lunch swallowable, I am just making an effort to always cook extra dinner. Then I put the leftovers in a tupperware. All that’s normal enough. Then I just have to remember to set said tupp by the backdoor in the morning, with a utensil on top (morning’s are not his strong point).
Now, the laundry. Here’s a question that’s always bugged me. Do ‘normal’ people wash their clothes after each wear? I notice they don’t wear the same clothes day after day, like I do…. So unless they’re washing them after each and every wear, what do they do with the half dirty clothes???? I mean, really I’d like to know. Because I just don’t think that ‘normal’ people have a pile on their floor that they sift through every morning for the fresher items.
My tack is, as stated, just wear the clothes. Day in and day out until they’re dirty (which for me, means quite some time). Hubby likes to change his clothes more or less every day, but will certainly accept that they’re not necessarily in need of a wash after every wear. T-shirts and undies, yes. Jeans and sweaters, no. But although he’s stellar at making The Pile, he doesn’t sift through to find a freshy, he just gets a new item off the shelf. The shelf of clothes that I have carried to the back shed, washed, hung to dry, carried back in, and folded.
He does do some of the laundry, I ought to clarify. But anyway, this is not a bitch-about-your-husband blog. The point here is that, aside from my energy, that’s a lot of wasted water, detergent and electricity washing clothes that aren’t really even dirty!
So I decided to bite the bullet and start sifting for him. Don’t ask me why this in particular was the hurdle, and not washing his clothes in the first place, but it was. Of course it takes less of my time in the long run. I pick out the pants and sweaters, check that they don’t have big spills on them (we do, after all, have kids, and he is, after all, in law school, to which some people suits). Then I fold them back up, return them to the shelf, and wash the rest.
That’s it! Easy! Money saved, energy saved, evil circumvented!