I am a morning person. Not the kind of morning person who opens my bright eyes at 6 am and leaps bushy tailed from bed mind you. I am the kind who, if I can pry myself out of bed early enough to have an hour to myself, to wake up with my own thoughts, am so much the better person. There’s nothing I love more than a morning alone with coffee at hand, reading, writing, or otherwise stretching my brain gently to ready it for the day. Like any junkie I’ll do just about anything to get that hour.
And how does that pan out with motherhood, you might wonder….?
Well, we go in phases. Some glorious, like in early December when the Babe was waking me up at 6:30, and to solve his morning fussiness and consequent need to be (actively) put to sleep, I was taking a walk first thing, with cup of coffee in hand. He only took 8 or 10 blocks, then I’d have another 30 minutes or more at home to think my own thoughts before the Toddler woke up. As perfect as a mama of two could hope for.
That’s long gone.
As his brain matures, he sleeps later, then has a longer wakeful period before getting sleepy again. Eventually, that will mean I can creep out of bed all by my little old self in the mornings. But for now, there’s no creeping. He sleeps light in the morning, if I try to get up earlier it just means we both get up earlier, and that friends is no good. These days he’s waking about 7. His happy period is still short. Long enough for me to half finish making the coffee. Then he starts in on The Sound. My in-laws called it “talky-talk,” to imply that there’s nothing at all wrong with it. And I’m sure they’re right. But it sounds like fussing to me. And makes it impossible to sit and relax with a first Cuppa.
At this point, and I remember this happening with Toddler too, he just wants some stimulation. And who can blame him? He just wants a chance to work his brain a little, like mama. That’s why the walk worked good for both of us. And when he’s done working his little budding brain, he wants to go to sleep. Both my kiddos took work to put to sleep. After two months of age, the days of sitting quietly and nursing to sleep fizzled right out. Then it’s get off your fat ass and put on some miles! With the Toddler I remember thinking I had never walked a tenth so many miles in my own home before.
But our morning walks were getting longer and longer. And don’t forget there’s a Toddler sleeping at home (don’t worry, there’s a Papa there too, who needs his morning sleep ‘cuz he stays up till all hours doing his school work in the only quiet time he can find). She’s been sleeping till 8-ish. So, do the math. What we have is me finally getting the little guy back to sleep just as (literally) the big girl wakes up.
That’s actually not too bad. She’s gotten quite lovely in the mornings, most of the time. I have at least 20 minutes while she eats her granola in a classic groggy wake-up state. Then, quite often, follows some of her best quiet solo play.
But lately, things are starting to overlap. And the wrench has hit the gears with a CLANG!
Perhaps in another week I will look back and realize that this morning was the apex, before a gentle return to things working. Babies change so fast, whatever’s going on you can guarantee won’t be in another couple of weeks.
But for now, let’s just say Mama’s Mornings are not so hot.